Random Rant Blog

Where you going then?

Party

It may end up being more boring than your life

which is a thin possibility

This is an actual part of a conversation I had. I find it quite offensive. Yes, I'm always saying I'm bored. Yes, I often AM bored. But there's reasons for this.

Recently I have talked a friend down from suicide. I also had to get myself out of an anxiety attack today and my friend talked me through my panic attack yesterday. One of my friends has been having some issues lately with his self esteem and I've been there to talk to whenever he needs me. Also, this person was in the room when the youth worked at college (who also runs our student union) came in and asked to talk to me in private. If you're wondering why this is, it's because I think my friend may potentially attempt suicide again. I have 2 younger brothers that I have to babysit when my parents go to work and yet I still seem to do more work than you do. I certainly have better attendance. 

Where exactly is the time for me to have fun? There isn't that much of it when you throw in chores and homework and daily life routine. I had fun this morning by playing Just Dance on the wii and the experience calmed me down quite a bit. But that was all I had time for before my brothers came in demanding food. Like seriously, I want to have fun but sometimes life comes at us.

So fuck you. Rant over.

Sex: Outside a Relationship?

So the other day a friend told me that "50% of guys know what they want and don't mind being alone." Implying that guys want sex and don't care if they're in a relationship or not. I don't think this is quite true. The percentage seems wrong and so does the fact that he left girls out of this statement. So here are the rough categories of when people want sex in and out of relationships.

Just sex, no strings attached
No relationship, no commitment. The perks of sex without the downsides that there are to a relationship. No commitment, no having to remember birthdays or anniversaries or valentines day. Also, you don't have to buy gifts or pay for dates. Just condoms.

Relationship, great. No relationship, one night stand it is.
Basically what my friend was describing. The idea that sex is more important than a relationship but obviously a relationship has it's perks. The feeling of being in a relationship and love... Plus the fact that sex is more likely as you don't have to go out and look for a partner.

Sex inside a relationship
One night stands seem pointless and sex is more meaningful in a relationship. You know the person and are more comfortable with them, that's how it's meant to be, right? Not this promiscuous nature that is encouraged by the media and practiced by so many teenagers.

No sex please
Sex isn't for everyone. It might be religion, not feeling ready, conscience, morality or something that you maybe can't place your finger on... You're just not ready for sex yet.

Relationships? Sex? Ew.
Doesn't all this stuff require a little too much emotion? And let's be honest... everybody of the gender that you go for is a bit of a douche.


Short entry but... I felt like I needed to go through this.

Consent

Consent - OMFGItsJackAndDean

"Lets let this out to the right extent, this guy wants you but only with your consent!"

This song is so funny and yet has a serious point to it. Consent is really important in all cases of sexual activity. If one or both parties do not give consent, it is a crime. Make sure you have consent assholes!

Knowing people who have been sexually assaulted, I have seen the sort of effects it can have on people. Some people cope better than others but just because someone can go on living like it was nothing, doesn't mean it was okay. They still didn't want it to happen and I think maybe lack of reporting sexual assault and rape is a large part of why some people still seem to think it's okay.

Welcome to the 21st century. Stop being a prick, it's not okay anymore!

This social prerequisite that having lost your v-card makes you cool... It doesn't.

This social expectation for people to have sex with their partners... It doesn't matter.

The mindset that you should be able to have sex with your partner... Go fuck yourself, why should they want to?

There was a lot of controversy earlier this year about consent after a string of allegations against YouTubers. As a reaction to this, there were also a lot of videos made about consent by famous YouTubers who are of the same mindset: Consent is compulsory, not optional.

John Green, vlogger and author (including the author of "The Fault In Our Stars")

Lex Croucher, vlogger

Charlie McDonnell, vlogger

Charlie's blog: Consent

How To: First Date

This is a brief guide on how to (hopefully) have a successful first date.

The What/Where/When
Before you can get ready to go on a date you have to actually have a plan...

Saturday or Sunday during the daytime is a pretty good time to go on a first date. I'd say meeting up between 11am and 4pm is good. Agree to meet somewhere that is familiar to you both, even if your actual date is further away. You can always travel there together.

As for the what... I think there are some dos and don'ts.

DO:

• Keep it cheap
• Keep it simple
• Keep it social

DON'T:

• Spend loads of money on the date
• Pay for the other person
• Go to a cinema, it's a common date place but sitting in a dark room and not talking for 2 hours won't actually give you much sense of whether or not you find this person interesting and fun to date

My best suggestions are for where to have a first date:

• Coffee shop
• Park
• Ice cream place
• Any other place you can sit and have a non-alcoholic drink

Yeah that'd be my other top tip... No alcohol on the first date.

Getting Ready

Okay, you've got your date, you know where you're going. Now it's the big day and you have to get ready.

Step 1) Have a shower. This will make you all nice and clean and you'll just smell more attractive.

Step 2) Dry your hair. You don't want your clothes soaked and you don't want wet hair when you arrive.

Step 3) Get dressed. Sounds basic. But again there are dos and don'ts.

DO:

• Wear something casual, as if you were going shopping with friends. Jeans and a t-shirt will work well. If you go to college or wear your own clothes to school, wear something you would wear for a normal day there
• Wear something comfortable, you don't want to be uncomfortable as it will affect how you feel about your date

Examples for good outfits: 

Examples for bad outfits: 

Yeah...

Step 4) Girls, put your make up on. Again casual everyday make up. Don't go over the top. If you look like you always do then you won't look like you're trying to hard to impress. 

Step 5) Hair. This is where you can do something different. Making your hair look extra nice (but please still try for casual) shows some difference and some interest in the person but it's not too much. For guys, gel in your hair (but not too much because ouch and ew) might work just to make it look "cool" and for girls... There is so much! A small braid going from the front of your head to the back, a fishtail braid, casual curls or even just straightening it if you don't usually, it can make a huge difference.

Step 6) Go on your date. Don't turn up too early. I'd say if you're more than 5 minutes early, go somewhere out of sight. The toilets or a nearby shop is hopefully a good cover. Also, try not to be any more than 10 minutes late. You'll seem uninterested and it's kinda rude.

Good luck on your date!